Bryan Millers is a former CIA agent, now a security guard at a pet store. He still is in love with is ex-wife Lenore who by now is involved with a black former porn actor. Bryan has a teenage daughter who's eager to lose her virginity, something he's not about to let happen. He's also interested in trying the latest ED medication, even though as far as we can tell, he doesn't have a woman. One night at work he sees a bunch of Albanians loading explosives. He confronts them and next day he walks up to the pet store HQ to again confront the gangsters. We learn that behind them is some sinister figure. It takes a while but eventually Bryan, his mom--also a former CIA agent, and Lenore get "taken". We learn more about the sinister boss and what he's up to. In the meantime the daughter and Lenore's guy will have to rescue them and Bryan will have to confront the bad guy. The Taken franchise, and for that matter all Liam Neeson movies, are ideal material for a parody. And initially it looks like Tooken will to just that. This Bryan endlessly brags about his special skills but just like the other Bryan rarely displays the alleged skills. For some reason, Mills' lame friends don't make an appearance here. Unfortunately, Tooken instead of being a "serious" parody quickly descends into adolescent territory with countless gross moments, that wouldn't be funny even to teenagers. I counted four instances that made me chuckle but there wasn't any particularly funny scene or line. Tooken could have ridiculed the over the top violence, Mills' absurd obsession with his ex, the annoying daughter. But it doesn't. It comes across more like a really poor comedy that was quickly adapted into a Taken scenario.
Tooken - The spoof on the popular Taken franchise.
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April 9, 2019